Two years ago I created a persona for myself called “Super Spiritual Girl” in which I offer videos I’ve created. In my opinion, it’s a great name; it’s catchy and playful. And “playful” is something I need more of in my life. It’s a great reminder for me, as I tend to take things far too seriously, much of the time. Still, my comfort level with the name wavers. I met a woman recently, who asked me why I’m not stepping into the Super Spiritual Girl persona more. She loves the name and I suggested I could have a lot more fun with it. I agreed, and tried to explain my resistance to it; why I wasn’t playing it up more. It’s a simple reason: Fear.
Not everyone likes the name. I recorded some videos on a Youtube channel (http://www.youtube.com/user/superspiritualgirl) and one guy (We’ll call him “Buddy”) has e-mailed me on two separate occasions with the exact same message, dissing my videos and the name. I deleted his emails upon reading but now I wish I had kept them to share… Essentially, he suggested if I were “really” spiritual I would never have referred to myself as “Super Spiritual Girl”, that it’s an oxymoron and said some unkind words that I can’t recall now. He was definitely not a fan.
First I felt annoyed: he obviously didn’t get the tongue-and-cheek nature of the name. But what dawned on me next, was that beneath my annoyance, lay insecurity and fear. I wondered how many other people agreed with Buddy, didn’t “get” my intention and thought I was a fraud. The truth is, if I randomly came across one of my videos, depending on my mood, I might think the exact same thing. Who knows?
The woman I met with recently reminded me of the Marianne Williamson poem entitled “Our deepest Fear”. There is one line in it that I’ve heard many times, but suddenly resonated deeply:
“Your playing small does not serve the world”.
The definition of courage is feeling fear and doing what your afraid of anyways. I’ve done a lot of bold things in my life, many of which I’ve been terrified of. When you put yourself out there, there’s an obvious risk of receiving criticism. And sometimes, it’s going to sting.
So in the end, I was grateful for the hate mail, as it helped me to become more conscious of the fear I feel around stepping into my own light. I have a clear intention: to support others as best as I can through creative expression. And this helped to confirm that I’m gonna keep doing what I’m doing, with as MUCH playfulness and boldness as I can, and if some people don’t like it, we’ll that’s just fine. But I can’t please everyone, and know it would be stupid to try.
And just to be clear Buddy, I don’t actually think that “spiritual superhero’s” exist, but if they did, I’d make a pretty damn good one. ;)
Our Deepest Fear by Marianne Williamson
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.
And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.
I love that poem! All I can say to the Buddy’s of the world out there…don’t hate! Just because YOU are afraid to live your life doesn’t make it ok to try to tear those of us down who DO live life!
YOU be YOU….that in itself makes you SUPER in my book! I, too, love the name; it’s fun and playful, and we all need that on a daily basis!
~love & light~
Ang
Comment by Ang Henson — May 11, 2010 @ 1:09 pm
tell people to suck a long spiritual long dong. Everyone’s spirituality is individual. What is yours is not mine. You can share your experience and I can share mine. You can call yourslef what your sould tells you too or not to. everyone else can kiss your enlightened spiritual ass. Ashe. God Bless, Mazel.
Comment by tweetnunya — May 11, 2010 @ 4:37 pm
Thank you for sharing this story. YOU ARE a spiritual super hero! Nobody ever said super hero’s were perfect, they are just willing to go places ordinary people are not and that YOU ARE.
Thereby paving the way for others. Keep playing BIG!
Comment by Edie Galley — May 11, 2010 @ 7:05 pm
You are awesome!
Comment by Cathy — May 11, 2010 @ 8:47 pm
Hey, Super Spiritual Girl!
Congratulations on being able to reflect about why that experience bothered you. Great realization.
I so appreciate your honesty about your fears. Too many times we put up a “front” so we can look professional, etc. But your honesty helps all of us to realize it is okay to acknowledge our own fears. We can then overcome our them and get to the other side.
I am in the middle of a project that is making me step out of my comfort zone. Part of me wants to retreat! But, the other part is telling me to keep going. Fortunately, that is the part that is winning.
Thank you for your post.
Warm regards,
Mary Ann Pine
Comment by Mary Ann Pine — May 12, 2010 @ 11:07 am
Just wanted to thank you all for your lovely, thoughtful comments. I am grateful for each and every one of them!! ♥♥♥
Comment by Tamara — May 12, 2010 @ 12:46 pm
Hi,
You follow me on Twitter so I came to check out your new site. Love it!
I read Mariane’s book when it came out in 1992. Love her spirit and had a lot of opportunities to listen to her speak when she spend time in Detroit.
The world needs your big spirit. Count me in as a new fan;)
Comment by Tess The Bold Life — May 12, 2010 @ 12:48 pm
The same thing happens with writing. I learned early on that criticism is more constructive than praise. Praise is great to boost the ego, give yourself a pat on the back, but criticism is what strikes you the most. Even if it’s bad, you can turn it to good. The key is not letting the fear of failing holding you back as well. Keep it up!
Comment by Kevin — May 12, 2010 @ 1:06 pm
If I had a dime for every time I came here.. Great read.
Comment by Oliver Yarbrough — May 30, 2010 @ 4:12 am
You’ve done it once again! Amazing writing!
Comment by Daryl Mcdaniel — May 31, 2010 @ 2:45 pm
Greetings, I enjoy your website. This is a cool site and I wanted to post a comment to let you know, great job! Thanks kim
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Comment by louis vuitton — June 9, 2010 @ 8:09 am
People can be so disrespectful, however here’s something that came to my mind once, while I was contemplating retaliation on a hurtful & otherwise ballsy person in my life: Since we all don’t start at the same mark^ we can not all be held to the same standard. [how we've been raised, intellectual, spiritual levels, dictate our comprehension & influence our individual style of behavior] Keep doing what bribgs you peace. Haters are insignificant in the lobg run.
Comment by LifeCoach and Psychic ConsultingMedium at Large Seloma — February 7, 2011 @ 2:11 pm